In the book “Yes You Can” by Sam Deep and Lyle Sussman, “like in the organic system, a human relationship is subject to entropy—meaning that it is always in a state of decay.” In order for relationships to grow and flourish hard work is required.
All relationships suffer from this malady if given time. However, there are things you can do, principles you can live by, that will help insure that relationships do not die needlessly. Like a beautiful garden, it is possible, through proper cultivation, to develop loving, lasting relationships.
It is important to remember that all of life is about relationships. Your emotional stability, self worth, spirituality, security, and personal success are all dependent on how you relate to those around you.
You cannot live in isolation all your life. It was never God’s intention for you to be totally autonomous. In fact scripture is plain on this matter. In Genesis 2:18, God said us “it is not good for man to dwell alone.” The Apostle Paul teaches us in Romans “that no man is an island.” In other words, God desires for us to be in healthy, growing relationships.
The following principles will aid you in the cultivation of your relationships:
Make the decision to build a loving, lasting relationship All of life is centered around the choices you make. It is imperative that you make the conscious decision to cultivate your relationships. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Get rid of the idea that the feelings you have now about your partner will always be the same. Understand that if you’re going to make your relationships work, you’re appointed have to put a great deal of time and effort into them.
Communicate
Communication involves much more than what you say. It also involves your ability to listen to what your partner is saying. It involves the ability to empathize with what they are feeling. Communication is about much more than proving a point or winning an argument. In order for your relationship to grow you must seek a common ground of understanding and agreement.
Pray together
This may sound trite or even elementary, but it is highly important. No truer words were ever spoken than “the family that prays together, stays together.” There is something about developing intimacy with God that helps to build intimacy with your partner. It is easier for your “horizontal” relationships to be right, when your “vertical” relationship is right. Pray for God to bless your partner with health, peace, provision, and favor on a daily basis. Try it and see what happens.
Learn to relax
It is a good thing to learn not to “select a small stuff!” Don’t get been out of shape about every flaw or shortcoming that your partner has. Remember, they probably see yours also. Constantly pointing them out, griping, or complaining about them, only adds fuel to the fire. The Bible says, “it is the little foxes that spoil the vine.” Takes a few deep breaths. Step back and ask yourself, “is it worth destroying this relationship because of the small stuff?”
Be quick to forgive
Scripture says that we are not to let the sun go down on your wrath. Everyone does things that upset, offend, or even hurt their partner. No one is immune to this. People in loving, lasting relationships, are those who learn to forgive their partners when they make a mistake. To have a winning relationship, be quick to apologize when you do something to hurt your partner, and quick to forgive repair
Give appreciated gifts
Everyone loves to receive special gifts from their partners. There is nothing like receiving an unexpected dozen roses, or a cute romantic card from your partner. Surprise your partner with something out of the ordinary. It doesn’t have to be something expensive, it could be something you may. The point is when you give your partner cars, give us or even ton, you are saying they are valuable to you. The golden rules that is, “doing to others, a she would have others do unto you.”
Seek to really know and understand your partner
It is amazing in marriages how much you think you know about your partner, when you first marry them. After years of being married many people have awakened to realize they don’t really know the person they are married to. Why? Is it that the person has changed so much? Usually it’s because we don’t spend enough intimate to time with our partners, getting to know them. Seek to understand their dreams, their desires, their aspirations, their needs, and their wants. If you put forth a little effort in this regard you’ll be amazed what you learn. The Bible says, “to dwell with your wife with knowledge.”
Yes, you can enjoy winning relationships. Quick whining about your relationships and start winning, by doing your part to make it work. Keep the faith. Believe for the best. Be patient, and you will begin to see the fruit of your efforts!
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